Find me here

http://myfirstsixhusbands.com

or here

http://nevergettingmarriedagain.com

Follow Me...

So here's the deal...

I woke up this morning with the intention of starting the story of Wy.

You see his Birthday is coming up soon and he has such a great story begining with the start of Wy that I thought I would share it with all of you.

That's when it happened.

I started thinking the way I think before the lights come on.

That thinking that rambles from one thought to another until you put your feet on the floor and smell the coffee.

Yesterday I got a message from Lynne on Facebook that said lots of nice things, but one of the things she said was, "The Parks Farm?"

Ok, so the story is, that this farm has never really had a name, just Grammy and Grampys.

It has four mobile spaces on the top corner of the property so when Grampy had to register with the State of Oregon he put down Aching Acres because that's what he and my Dad called it when they were building.

But, it's never been officially called that.

Now, if you know me personally, you know my love of all things trailers and trailer parks, so you can imagine my joy when I met and married my sixth husband who's last name just happened to be Parks.

Get it?

"Trailer" Parks?

At the time I just so happened to be living in a single wide in a trailer park and I insisted that we get married in the trailer park.

I should have known better since I married number five in the same trailer with disastrous results, but that's another story for another day.

This is where the story gets interesting...

Number six and I sold the single wide and moved to Oregon when Grammy and Grampy needed a little help with life and stayed with them until they both moved on to that big farm in the sky.

Since we had settled in and made our home here on the farm and acquired quite a menagerie of small farm animals including our four favorite dogs it was a unanimous family decision that we stay on and take care of things.

So, I decided we would call the farm the "Trailer" Parks farm.

Get it?

Mobile spaces?

Last name Parks...

The "Trailer" Parks Farm!

Well, as you know, Number Six took care of things all right, he took care of the 30,000.00 dollars in my Grampy's bank account.

Out with Number Six.

Now it's just Wyatt and I on the farm and even though our last name is still Parks, it oogs me every time I refer to it as the "Parks" farm since it was Boss Parks who did the dirty deed.

I bet you're wondering what any of this has to do with Wyatt's Birthday Blog.

Follow me just a little longer and I'll get there.

I don't want my blog OR our family farm to be associated with Number Six any longer so I am changing the name and address of this blog.

I started the Nevergettingmarriedagain blog and I am going to tie this blog to it and post on both sites.

Different subject matter of course, the Never blog will be full of hate and angst and this will be a day in the life type of stuff.

(Yes Lane Four, I know Silly Putty. Call it the BiPolar blog whatever, just roll with it.)

Shelley has told me that if I ever write a book the title should be, "My First Six Husbands," so that is what I am calling the blog from now on.

Same blog, same great taste, same great look, just a new name and address.

Thank you Lynne and Shelley for the inspiration I needed, and Lane Four, shut it and read!

Please update your readers and bookmarks to...

http://www.myfirstsixhusbands.com

I will be posting the story of how Wy came to be and the continuing saga there.

Sunshine and Rainbows

Yesterday I ...

Fought with the neighbor who won't pay his rent.

Fought with the complicated spouse who acts like a baby.

Fought with Ex #4&5 who has drunk dialed me three days in a row.

Stepped on a tack strip before going to bed.

Today should be a walk in the park :)

Facebook Love Connections

So last night on the eleven o' clock news there was a spot on how facebook is breaking up marriages.

I can't stay awake past ten so I missed what it said, but it got me to thinking.

I know someone RIGHT NOW who's *wife has left him for her high school sweetheart that she reconnected with on facebook.

This leads me to ponder...

I purposely only post photographs of myself where I am in my DMV pose, sucked in and chin out.

Seldom do I post a below the shoulders shot and never, EVER would I post a full body in bathrobe with my hair in a top of the head pony photo which is how I look 8o% of the time.

The other 20% I am in spandex underpants, stretch jeans, a low cut ass covering shirt (to draw attention up yet away from my face all at the same time) and hair that is at the very least combed.

I highly doubt that anyone from my high school years looks at me and thinks, "wow I really missed out that twenty some years ago, but here's my chance!"

I'm sure that having four dogs who sleep in their own twin bed next to mine and the fact that I have a petting zoo in my front yard that includes a marshmallow eating pig is mighty attractive too.

Top all that off with two kids fifteen years apart in age and six ex husbands I can pretty much assume my love life is facebook proof.

So I wonder, do you know anyone who has reconnected on facebook and "hooked up?"

Did the fact that they had aged, gained weight, lost hair, been divorced, never married, had kids in prison or still lived with their parents have any affect on their love connection?

Or, did they find that the other person had only become more desirable?

A great job, no kids, no psycho ex, good credit, didn't snore, loved dogs and their parents lived in another state?

I'm just curious.

* the couple in question are actually first cousins who reconected at a family reunion after they both had children. The whole situation made me uncomfortable and she's a sloppy drunk, so really the breakup is a-ok in my book and with luck, they will both find love outside of the family.

Parting Is Such Sweet Sorrow...

Here's a news flash... For Christmas I got fat.

For my Birthday in May I got less fat and that gift kept on giving right up through October When I got the news that I was married to a felon

( he would have been a felon if my sister had let me call the police.)

That's when all the fat started coming back to me.

Entire pies longingly whispered my name, half gallons of rocky road reached out for me in the night and cookies and brownies began greeting me for breakfast and making standing dates for lunch and dinner.

Oh they made me feel good, there's no arguing that, they embraced me in their sweet and satisfying goodness throughout my days and late into my nights, and what they gave me was real.

I REALLY have a huge ass, thunder thighs and front butt.

As obsessed as I am about the food industry, you'd think I would be a harder fish for bad food to fry.

I know how our beef is raised, I know how pigs are slaughtered and I can recite to you chapter and verse the crime that is high fructose corn syrup.

The problem is, I'm a junkie.

An easy mark.

I'm weak.

So as of yesterday, (I'm at the big ONE day mark) I'm off the junk again.

No sugar and this time no dairy.

From what I read, it seems that most of us are allergic to dairy anyway.

Research says there is no reason for us to consume another mammals milk.

Eew. Saying that out loud just grossed me out.

Now I just need to find some research and literature telling me how gross it is to sit on the couch watching daytime stories and Lifetime movies.

Welcome 2010!

Ok, it's a new year.

Lets see what I can do about this business of blogging. I wish I could be more disciplined about this whole blog thing because looking back on posts past I realize how many memories I keep here.

2009 was without a doubt an interesting year.

My fourth and fifth ex husband Jack surprised us with a visit that seemed without end, my sixth husband stole (literally) the farm and my daughter and I made it through the roughest year of our extended history together.

But, surprise surprise, we all lived to tell about it. Maybe what they say about what doesn't kill us makes us stronger, this too shall pass or life sucks and then you die really is true.

I just wish I could be tall thin and rich as I experience it all.

Perhaps that's the reason I didn't take out an ex husband or two last summer, I didn't want to have a double chin in my mug shots.

All I can say is pay attention if I get thin and suddenly Texas comes up short a Jackass.

2010 seems to be off to a great start though.

The house is mother in law clean (if your mother in law happens to be a hoarder), all four dogs are washed and my complicated spouse has been working overtime. So to sum things up, nothing stinks and the bill collectors have quit calling.

We have been devoting our spare time to various white trash crafts that go loads in keeping up the attractive decor of our home, much to dismay of our neighbors and guests.

Our motto is, "Our treasure is someone else's trash at our house."

So thats all for now, but I will try and see you here or over at the never blog a bit more often this year.

Hmm...

Maybe I should have told everyone I'm not posting here anymore.

Not for awhile anyway.

I am posting here every day though.

See ya there :)

I am never getting married again...

And here are some reasons why.

Click here

The rest of the story...

As some of you may or may not know, #6 is out.

My sister was here from Montana last week to close out my Grandfathers estate. Because it was time to settle the bank accounts and Mike was going to be found out, when he picked her up from the airport he fessed up to her that he had been taking money from the estate account since March. He told her it was to pay for my medical bills from my shoulder surgery last fall. He told her that insurance wouldn't pay because it was the second time I had the procedure on that shoulder. He said that collection agents were calling and threatening to garnish his wages and he didn't want me to know.

Three days later, on Monday morning, my Mom came to the farm and they all three sat around me like they were either going to tell me there had been a death in the family or they were sending me to fat camp. Either way, from the look on their faces I knew the news was going to be bad.

As soon as the words were out, I knew it was a lie. I knew there were no medical bills, we have great insurance, and wouldn't I have had some idea. Looking at Mike, I knew there was more to the story, but he wasn't talking. At that point, my Mom and Sister were somewhat defending him and kept telling me not to be so "hard on him" and that we could get through this. I kept looking at him wanting to scream and punch him in the face. He was crying and saying how sorry he was, he said he did the only thing he could think of to take care of things and he never wanted to upset me. That made me want to punch him even more.

Wendy showed up about a half hour into things. She couldn't believe what was happening either, but suggested that if I didn't believe him to call the hospital and doctors office. You see, Mike told us he got rid of all the bills, didn't keep any receipts of payment and wrote the checks for cash or to himself so I wouldn't find out about the bills and "worry." So thats what I did. I made phone calls, only to find out what I had assumed was correct. All the bills had been paid in full by insurance. Mike had stolen the money.

It turned out that the last check he wrote himself was the morning he picked my sister up at the airport. He had cleaned out the entire account. The checks I wrote for October farm upkeep had all been returned. There was no money. He had also stolen from the new account I opened for the rental spaces, had been taking cash advances from our checking account, cleaned out our savings account and been regularly taking payday loans.

I know your thinking to yourself, where did the money go? We don't know. As far as we can figure out it went to Slurpees and chewing tobacco.

By the time we were getting to the bottom of this, my sister had gone to the attorney and Mike had taken two Lorazepams and gone to bed. I wanted to go beat him in the bed with a baseball bat, but decided to call the sheriff and have him arrested instead. The sheriffs office said they were in the middle of a transport, but would send a deputy out as soon as one was available. Lucky for Mike, my sister got home first and told me to call off the sheriff because if he were arrested the farm would never be paid back.

Mike is now living in the little house across the driveway from me. He cries all the time like a child who broke the neighbors window with his baseball.

I want to throw up every time I look at him.

I look around my house and see the things that were paid for with money stolen from my family. Wyatt cries because he thinks his toys are all "stolen," and I now refer to our new puppy as the "hot dog" because I don't believe that when when you mix stolen money with your own money there is a line of what is yours and what is not. I will never again go on blind faith that everything is "o.k" or believe someone because they assure me that I can.

I feel so stupid.

I feel so betrayed.

And that my friends, is the rest of the story.

Believe it or Not

So today is the fortieth anniversary of the moon walk.

Or is it?

Do you think man has really walked on the moon?

I don't.

I will tell you the reasons I don't believe it, but you can't argue with me because I'm not a good debater and so I'll tell you your right and I'll agree that you may have a point just to get you to quit trying to change my mind.

I'm that way about alot of things, I'm very non-confrontational.

Ask anybody who knows me, except my fourth and fifth husband.

So here's what I think.

If we walked on the moon once, how come we never went back?

How come nobody else has ever walked on the moon?

Doesn't it make you wonder?

How come we can get to the moon, land there, walk around, plant a flag, drive around and then take off again, but can't get to the bottom of the ocean, or even design a dish washer that you don't really have to pre-rinse for.

I like the whole idea, I like the story, I even like the boots.

I just don't believe it.

Fun on the Farm!

Quinn Cummings "Notes from the Underwire"

Ok, it's really still Thursday right now, but I am SO excited about this I thought I better prepare a day early and have it auto post while I'm sleeping so I can catch all the time zones tomorrow, which for you right now is really today...

There is also the possibility that I would have stayed up all night worrying about this post, then at four this morning fallen asleep during an infomercial and remembered later today sometime between the View and Oprah. That's just how I roll, it's all or nothing.

Ok, so without further ado, my questions answered...

I was thrilled beyond thrilled to be asked to ask you a thing or two,
so here goes.

Thrilled to be invited to answer, so we're even.

How long did it take you to write your book?

So many answers to that. It took me forty years of living, three years of blogging, one year of official writing and one year of working on rewrites.

How long have you been blogging?

I had to go check that. I started in February, 2005.

If given the opportunity, would you consider acting again?

I enjoyed the bit between "Action" and "Cut," but really didn't like the rest of it all that much. I can't imagine wanting to do something where the odds of getting a job were so small, what with me not being Megan Fox and all, and my feelings about the job were so compromised.

Is the I.V cat still alive?

Once I walked out of their house, we didn't exactly stay in touch, so I can't say with certainty, but since that was ten years ago and the cat was incredibly elderly then, I can't see how she's still around. Then again, these women loved her very much; maybe they sent her to Switzerland for monkey-gland injections, the way Keith Richards is rumored to do.

What is raita?

It's a side-dish from India. It's liquid yoghurt with, among other things, diced cucumber in it. It's makes a nice cooling note to spicier Indian foods. My kid loves it about 33% of the time.

These were just a few of what I considered to be "on topic" questions.

Then there were a few off topic questions...

What is your favorite Girl Scout cookie?

Trefoils, because shortbread makes me very happy.

Do you think the world will end in 2012?

Oh, I hope not. I just bought a large bottle of capers.

Which do you prefer, quality or quantity?

Great question. Quality is lost on me, because I'm a heathen. Quantity is lost on me because I end up feeling guilty if I have a lot of something because I start fixating on those who don't have any of whatever it is I have a plentitude of, but I have to pick one so I choose quality.

Where is your dream vacation destination?

It's quiet, it has a superb reading spot, it's cool rather than warm and I can get there without getting on a plane, because I'm one of those people who has to hold up the plane with her fingertips and her hyperventilating. And the people in the next room are mute. Beyond that, I'm not picky.

I want to thank Quinn for gracing the farm with her wit and charm today and adding a little class around the place. I feel so special and SO cool for being asked to take part in her blogging book tour. Be sure to pick up her new book "Notes from the Underwire" when you get a chance and maybe an extra copy for a friend. If you have friends like me, you know your better off buying another copy then loaning her yours because even if you do get it back, the pages will likely be stuck together with pot roast or pancake syrup.

Also remember you can get a fresh does of Quinn even after you've finished the book by logging into her blog, The QC Report.

Thanks again QC.

Peas Out.

Click here to purchase

iLucky

Don't forget, tomorrow is the BIG day, QnA with Quinn Cummings! If you haven't bought her book yet, swing by her blog and read some of her other blogging book tour interviews, you will LOVE her writing.

We spent almost the entire day yesterday fussing around with a new computer for #6. He has been wanting a laptop and yesterday was the day to make that happen. It only required three trips to town, two calls to Apple, one call to Verizon and countless hours of setting things up. I dare you to try setting up an airport wireless router and getting a connection any farther than twenty feet away. It just isn't possible. He ended up with a Verizon wireless plug in deal, but I think I'm going to call our local ISP today to get one of their routers.

If I said I wasn't jealous of Lucky's laptop I would be the biggest liar on the planet. He has iLife, Photoshop, and all the other cool stuff I don't have and he won't use. So I look at it and feel sorry for myself, pick it up and the funny thing is, it doesn't feel like home to me. So then I get back on mine where everything is just right and where it should be. I love my Mac, I feel like it's part of me. All my crazy ideas and friends live here and I know just how to get anywhere I want to go.

Thanks J.

Um, by the way... We got his new G4 iBook on Craigslist for 600.00 less than they sell for new. Talk about cutting a fat hog. I hate to profit off of someone else's misfortune, but I have to tell you, the best time to buy a Mac is obviously when the economy is in the toilet.

Today is back to business. Mike has a big shiny John Deere in the driveway on loan from the neighbor that he will use to cut the pastures today. I love the look and smell of a fresh cut field! The kids will be banned to the upstairs until their bedrooms are clean, which could mean I will be delivering food and refreshments for the better part of the day. I will be doing the normal stuff around the house that I am now officially one full day behind on. Oh well, the bigger the job, the bigger the satisfaction when it's done.

I just shaved my legs and my teeth are clean so I'm ready to take on the world!!!

* Speaking of taking on the world, Jack is due to arrive in Seattle from Alaska today. His first and my favorite ex informed me yesterday that he has intentions of taking Wyatt back to Texas with him. Please let me know if you have spotted any flying pigs lately, because I'll need to see some too before I let Wy go on a road trip with that idiot.

Breaking News!

Q&A with new author Quinn Cummings, "Notes from the Underwire" will be featured here on Friday!

Mark your calendars, you'll love her writing.

You still have time to run out and buy her book, or even Kindle it.

Underpants and iPods!

I wish I had a camera. Mine died a sand filled death after our last trip to the beach. I have the camera on my phone, but it just isn't the same.

I am wishing I had a camera this morning in particular because Pooter got his bi-yearly haircut yesterday and he looks like the biggest goober EVER. Sonja, his usual beauty operator was running the clippers, but her day must have taken a turn for the dark side sometime before turning them on Pooter. It's atrocious. I'm taking him back in for a do over when I go to the dentist this morning and I'm considering asking for the five dollar tip back as well.

Poor Pooter, I bet everyone in the barnyard is laughing at him, not to mention the two other dogs he lives with here in the house.

Quadrant cleaning at the dentist this morning. Doesn't even sound fun. I still stand firmly by my belief that I would rather go to the dentist than the lady parts doctor, I don't care if everyone surveyed disagreed with me. For all I know you are all just a bunch of closet exhibitionists who deep down inside are really secretly wishing you could wear your paper dresses home. Whatever, I don't hold that against you.

I do have to shave my legs for my appointment today though because I'm wearing short pants and sandals.

Speaking of short pants... Did I mention that I bought size 8 underpants last weekend? That's right, size eight! I was wearing a tight 10 but when it came to the point that I needed suspenders for them I broke down and bought new ones. Who knew how satisfying new underpants could be :)

Maddy got her new glasses yesterday and they look FABULOUS! One pair is purpleypink and the other is a wire rimmed pair. So stinkin cute. I wish I had a camera for that too.

After we picked up her glasses we went to the White Trash Warehouse (Wal-Mart) and got the kids each an iPod shuffle. They were SO excited! Now if I could just figure out how to run them.

Remember when you got your first WalkMan? The casette kind? How cool you thought it was. I thought I was really cool listening to Madona and Supertramp on mine.

If Wyatt were to see one now he'd think it was a door stop.

I have to go shave for the dentist now.

QC and Wii

Let me just say this, it was a GREAT weekend!

The kids had a great time even though the weather was crappy. We took them to Barnes and Noble earlier in the week so they both had good new reads to keep them busy and of course a movie or two. I not only had my great new Quinn Cummings book to read, but I also got a Wii Fit on Saturday that I LOVE!

Then, on Sunday you'll never believe what was in my email when I woke up...

An email from one of Quinn Cummings "people" asking if I wanted to participate in her blogging book tour!!!!

Can you even believe that?!

Her book was released on July seventh and I bought it very soon after that not even knowing who she was, I just saw the book and knew by the cover it was a must read. Then I found out she was a blogger and went to check that out, loved it, left a comment and then Sunday I got an email!

So I thought all day about the questions I wanted to ask her and they all sounded really dumb and cliche', but I sent them off anyway and then late last night I got an email from Quinn personally saying she was looking forward to her stop at my blog... That means she must not think I'm a TOTAL dork.

Anyway, she'll be here in a few days, so stay tuned here for more info and watch Facebook and Twitter for updates.

Today we go pick up Maddy's new glasses, she is SO excited. We went to Americas best and got the two for 69.00 that includes an eye exam. That is so cheap it almost scares me. Remember in the movie The Jerk when Naven invents the "Opti-Grab" and everyone starts wearing the glasses with the nose holder only to find out a year or so later the Opti-Grab makes you go cross eyed... Thats my fear about Americas Best two for 69.00 with a free eye exam. What if they're so cheap because the frames are made of asbestos and the people doing the eye exams are juvenile delinquents out on work release. I swear that nobody working there is over twenty five years old.

Oh well, fast and cheap, it's the American way.

I mean really, who want's to pay more AND wait longer?

So, my new Wii Fit.

If you don't already have one, get one.

Not only is it fun and interactive, but it really is a GREAT workout. I was so sore yesterday I hobbled around the house like an old woman, but it felt so good to have used muscles I forgot I even had. There's skiing, tennis, hulla hoop, bowling, yoga, aerobics, stretch, you name it. It is the best eighty nine of #6's dollars I have ever spent, and he will get to enjoy the return on his money as much as I will = )

I figure I can justify the 89.00 by the lack of Recees and Marlboros he would otherwise be buying me, it all works out in the wash.

So that about sums up our weekend, a good time was had by all!

July 10

I survived the dentist.

I didn't enjoy it, but I survived it and I didn't even really freak out.

I just kept telling myself that no matter how bad I thought the dentist was, hands down, without a doubt it was better than the lady parts doctor. When you go to the dentist you don't have to shave or wear a paper dress and it's only your mouth that's open for extended periods of time.

Also at the dentist, They can give you nitrous so you think that your really at studio 54 dancing with John Travolta in a stunning black strapless spandex number with stacked heals and a beaded headband.

Not only that, but when your at the dentist and your doctor says "numb" you don't feel the need to kick him in the face and run.

I have some work that needs to be done though, so settle into the dentist stories, theres going to be a few of them.

Shannon came over yesterday to aid in the construction of the bamboo sheet house. Between the three of them they came up with a flawless design concept able to withstand wind gusts of up to nearly 5 mph, provide adequate sleeping space for three and apparently ward off the boogie man, vampires and bugs because they stayed out the entire night. Wyatt and Maddy have both attempted on numerous occasions to have sleep outs on the deck, in the yard and even one night in the pumphouse without much success, but last night it was all systems go with no reported problems or excessive bathroom trips, and I didn't trip over any kids on the carpet on my way to the kitchen this morning.

We watched Mall Cop last night and I didn't think it was funny.

Does that make me a bad person?

July 9

I have to go to the dentist this morning. I hate the dentist. I am scared to death of the dentist. I cry at the dentist. But I have to go.

Today I'm just going in for a buff and polish, but they use that metal hooky scrapey thing and it FREAKS me out. Maybe I should have all my teeth pulled and I could just mail them in for a cleaning once or twice a year and soak them in a glass on the bathroom counter for maintenance at night.

I'm not kidding you, I find the dentist disturbing.

So, the cougar is gone. She and Bob got into it yesterday and she took off only to return later in the day to I assume collect her worldly possessions. From what I understand, she cried on the couch for an hour or so and then got in her Explorer and left for what we all hope will be for good. Bob seemed really ok with the whole situation, but of course he would, he's twenty-three years old.

Wendy and I still aren't speaking. There was a break in the storm for a day or so in May, but it was short lived.

I'm not going into it any more than that because when I do, it just gives new life to the pain and anger.

My advice... make sure you have at least two kids, that way if something happens to one ~like their head gets permanently stuck up their ass~ you still have a chance with another one.

Maddy and Wy are having a blast. Last night they built a bamboo fort and I've had the song "House of bamboo" stuck in my head ever since. It's made of sticks, sticks and bricks, you can get your kicks, in the house of bamboo!

There, now it's stuck in your head too :)

I'll post a photo of it later.

What's up with the autopsy saying MJ didn't have any hair?

July 8

Wow!

We saw Transformers 2 yesterday and it was GREAT!!!

I loved every overly action packed minute of it (except for the couple times I fell asleep~That's just what I do during a movie) If you like the first one, the second one will rock your world. All robots, all the time!

I haven't been to a movie since Pirates of the Caribbean 1 and it turns out the prices have gone up a bit. That was kind of a sting and because of it, I don't think I'll be going back to the cinema anytime soon, but it was worth it to see Optimus Prime on the big screen

Lets talk about cougars.

The new neighbors in the little house are a father and son duo that work with Mike at Safeway. Very nice people, very nice family. The kid, we'll call him "Bob" is dating an older woman, we'll call her..."Crystal" (I consulted Google for a good stripper name.) Bob is twenty-three and Crystal is f o r t y o n e. Just to add to the omg'ness of this story, I will throw in that fact I am forty-one and my daughter is twenty-five. Now, Crystal does have a rockin hard bod, but she is totally soft in the head, doesn't have a job OR custody of her children and is a recovering meth addict. Bob, is all but scared of her and claims that she won't leave him alone even though he has supposedly tried repeatedly to break up with her. I don't know her side of the story because I don't like her and have been very, shall we say , short with her all of the few times we have met in the driveway. So, if this business is true that Bob really is not wanting the attention of this woman, how does he rid himself of a hungry stalking cougar?

Lets just open up the conversation on this one in the comment section.

So far, the only thing new around here today is that my kitchen smells like the beach at low tide. I cooked oysters for dinner last night and the aroma still lingers.

A Quick Catch Up, July 7

The following post is dedicated to JDM.

Told ya, duh....

Here's what I have learned.

Facebook feels good in the moment, but it isn't there for you when you go back a month later to remember the cute thing your kid said or relive the rip your head off moment you were feeling when you had the big scene with the neighbors.

I swung by the blog last night to sign in so I could leave a comment for a blogger who's book I just purchased, (Notes from the underwire, by Quinn Cummings. Buy it, you'll LOVE it) and realized that I had no life to reflect back on, no pictures to flash back with, since April.

But when I started re-reading my posts from April everything was so clear and I remembered things I didn't even realize I had forgotten.

So here I am.

Back to tell you, or maybe really myself whats going on in my world!

Jack.

Jack left to go fishing in Alaska after two "fun" filled weeks at our house. Wyatt and I suffered through every minute at Mikes insistence that he stay because after all, he is 'Wyatt's Dad."

Whatever, it was a loooooong visit, and one I don't care to experience again anytime soon.

He is supposed to be done with fishing sometime during the teens of June, so stay tuned.

Since the end of April, I have quit eating all refined sugar, drinking any caffeine and as of 13 days ago, QUIT SMOKING!

Who knew how much my life would change. I did it for health reasons because I felt like I had a permanent brain fog thing going on and I was always tired. I was pretty sure it was from the two or three candy bars I ate everyday followed by a side of cookies, doughnuts, ice cream and pastrys and topped off with a bottle or two of Dr. Pepper or Mt Dew.

So, I quit the sugar. I felt fantastic. I started reading books about my new endeavor, because rather you know it or not, just about everything has sugar in it. By the way, I still eat natural sugar and carbs.

That's when I learned caffeine fires off a rush to your body that you body reacts to the same as sugar. So I figured I would quit caffeine too.

That was hard.

I felt sick and don't ask my husband, because he doesn't like to talk about that week, but I think I might have been a little testy or maybe even irritable that week.

Here's the magic though.

One day I woke up and I felt great.

I woke up and felt awake.

I had no headache, no groggy fuzzy sleepy feeling.

I felt awake all day.

I never felt like I needed some kind of mid day pick me up to get me through the rest of my day.

I felt that way all day and I have felt that way ever since.

Smoking.

I had to have a tooth pulled because I'm to cheap to pay for a root canal and it was a back tooth that I didn't really feel I used that much anyway.

* Do not lecture me on this, I hear enough from my family thank you very much.*

Anywho, the dentist told me not to smoke because it may cause "dry socket" so I told him I would just quit.

And I did.

I quit that day.

That was 13 days ago.

I am a semi toothless non smoker!

As of today, I have lost 33 pounds.

Wyatt finished the fourth grade and is enjoying the summer here on the farm with his step sister Maddy.

They have planted flowers, painted somewhere in the neighborhood of 110 terra cotta flower pots, turned our pumphouse into an art studio/cat house (for Pat the cat who now enjoys some pretty luxurious digs) and swam everyday.

It is good to be a ten year old in the summertime.

Mike, after a looooooong slow winter of practically no work, is now working his ass off and it seems like we never see him anymore.

If he's not working, he's sleeping.

The money is good, but the lawn needs to be mowed.

So, theres my start.

I'm back in the blog saddle again shall we say.

Thank you Quinn Cummings, you've helped me remember my life.